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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22505773">No Going Back</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyber_Sleuth/pseuds/Cyber_Sleuth'>Cyber_Sleuth</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>N'jeku of the Thieves Guild [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Betrayal, F/M, Hurt/Comfort in second chap, I can't help but feel sad about Jaree-Ra, Minor Character Death, Veezara finally confesses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 18:55:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,876</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22505773</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyber_Sleuth/pseuds/Cyber_Sleuth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>If one could turn back time and repeat certain events in an effort to possibly change it, would you?</p><p>Unfortunately for N'jeku though,...there was no turning back from this...There was only pain at the end of this path now with the memories that once gave her so much joy leading her there...</p><p>...If only things could have been done differently...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Khajiit Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Veezara, Jaree-Ra/Female Dovahkiin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>N'jeku of the Thieves Guild [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1025112</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Pain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Next segment of the series and a bit of a treat towards a look into another piece of N'jeku's past and the weight that she presently carries upon her shoulders. I know that many of you love the way she and Veezara are around each other, but bare in mind that at this point in the series, the two are still not together nor confessed anything to one another either. That is all.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Stepping within Broken Oar Grotto, N'jeku wore a vacant expression as she slipped silently through the shadows, delving further within the grotto while taking down each member of the Blackblood Marauders. As she did though, the memories that slowly would lead up to the very reason she was here slipped into her mind against her will.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>~~~~</strong>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>"Ah, there you are. I was wondering when you would be showing up, my friend. Brother, there is someone I would like you to meet."</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Grinning rather pridefully as he spoke, Gulum-Ei motioned towards an eighteen-year-old N'jeku with his clawed hands without even turning his gaze away from his brother. "This, here, is N'jeku. She's a dear friend of mine as well as someone I work closely with. N'jeku, this is my egg brother, Jaree-Ra. He and our sister, Deeja work with me at the East Empire Company at times."</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Drifting her lavender gaze towards the lighter skinned Argonian from under the hood of her Thieves Guild armor, N'jeku seemed to hold a faint look of curiosity before it was gone once more. "...This one is pleased to meet any family of Galum-Jei..."</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Jaree-Ra's intense golden eyes seemed to scan her over as he shifted his gaze from head to toe before bringing his attention back onto her own gaze; a fanged smirk suddenly appearing playfully upon his muzzle with a flick of his tail behind him. "Oh no...The pleasure's obviously all mine. My brother failed to mention he had friend that was so...pleasing...to the eye..." Practically purring the words as he spoke, the slightly older of the two Argonians only seemed to become even further pleased when a sudden faint blush appeared onto the muzzle of the small Khajiit before him.</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Shifting faintly upon her feet, N'jeku attempted to hide her blushing face further beneath her hood as she tilted her head down and off to the side. "You...are not so bad yourself...to N'jeku as well,...Jaree-Ra..."</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <strong>~~~~</strong>
</p><p><br/>Aiming her next Ebony Arrow at another Marauder, she cocked the string of her Ebony Bow, Vulonmaar even further before releasing as the arrow sailed through the air with a near silent whistle before piercing straight through her target's skull; their body toppling over the edge they stood at and plummeting into the water below with a splash. This, of course, alerted the others that were at her desired destination. Those that remained, including her primary target, searched around the docks and other areas around them, but could not find their assailant's whereabouts.</p><p><br/>"When I find who's behind this, I'll take great pleasure in watching their face fill with pain as I kill them slowly till they beg for death!"</p><p><br/>Not allowing her expression to change as her ears twitched from under her Nightingale armor's hood at the familiar voice from the building across the water from her, a single digit that held her bow at her side <em>did</em> twitch just the slightest bit though. It was a voice that brought memories that had once been held precious to her and as she neared ever closer to the end of her destination, N'jeku felt a slowly growing tug upon her heart.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <strong>~~~~</strong>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Releasing her latest nocked arrow as she felled a vampire that had been chasing after one of the children, N'jeku's ears twitched from under her Thieves Guild hood at the ravenous scream directly behind her, followed by a panicked, yet angry yell from another just before the sound of blade slicing through flesh entered her ears. Turning around part way to glance behind herself, the young Khajiit spied the slain Vampire Lord that had been just a few feet from her position and Jaree-Ra looming over his bleeding corpse as he panted softly while his blades dripped with blood. "Jaree...? You protected this one?"</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Sensing that all the other remaining threats were taken down, the male Argonian's expression flashed with irritation towards the female Khajiit's question before tossing his blades onto the ground and quickly closing the distance between them. "You idiot! Do you realize that had I not arrived in time and struck that thing down, that you would've been bitten and had your life drained?!"</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>"But N'jeku would have-"</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Without letting her even finish what she was going to say, Jaree-Ra firmly grasped onto her wrist and yanked her into his broad chest, causing her to drop her own weapon onto the ground with a slight clatter as he embraced her tightly; his muzzle burying itself into the side of her neck as he bent over her much smaller form. "Don't do that again...Even if you could've protected yourself just fine had I not taken that vampire down, just the thought of the 'what if' actually scared me. I can't imagine losing you, N'jeku..."</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Eyes widening in surprise at this, N'jeku soon relaxed into his warm and leathery embrace as her arms encircled his waist gently and slowly closed her eyes as she enjoyed the sense of safety that came with this beast's touch. "...Thank you then...For protecting N'jeku..."</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <strong>~~~~</strong>
</p><p><br/>Finally arriving just outside of the entrance to the wooden building as she dropped the last Marauder onto the floor from her clawed gasp, she hesitated for only a second before N'jeku slowly stepped inside as she silently made her way through. Upon halting at the edge of the room that held the very one she had come to find, the nineteen-year-old Khajiit gazed quietly at the back of the tall Argonian with dark red feathers upon his head and light colored scales and leathery skin.</p><p><br/>"...Jaree..."</p><p><br/>At hearing the voice behind him, the Argonian before her slowly turned his head to glance behind himself from over his shoulder, only to have his golden eyes widen. "You..."</p><p><br/>Quickly turning completely to face her now, he clenched his claws into tight fists as he narrowed his eyes. "You...You're the one who murdered my sister and now my own men too!"</p><p><br/>"...Khajiit did what she had to, to survive...Your sister tried to kill N'jeku at the end of that mission on the Icerunner...And N'jeku found the note upon Deeja's body...You had planned to kill this one...N'-..." Biting her bottom lip hard as she fought back the tears,  a small drop of blood slipped down from her mouth due to a fang piercing the flesh there. "...N'jeku thought-"</p><p><br/>"What? You thought what? That you could get away with doing all this? That everything would be fine?!"</p><p><br/>"...That you had loved her...Like you had once told her..."</p><p><br/>Despite the anger that flowed through him, Jaree-Ra still found himself flinching slightly at hearing those slightly whimpering words from the female before him. Faintly relaxing before her, he sighed roughly and glanced off to the side for a moment in frustration before shaking his head to clear away any hesitation that was beginning to take form in his heart. Reaching behind himself, he pulled his blades free and readied himself before the very one that he had betrayed. "...It matters not anymore...Only one of us will leave this place alive, N'jeku and I aim to avenge my sister's death. Now die!"</p><p><br/>Quickly grabbing her Ebony Bow, N'jeku whipped it around to in front of herself as she managed to swiftly block the strikes with her own weapon, though her knees buckled slightly under the impact. She was much smaller than her attacker and on top of that, he was also physically stronger. While she was exceedingly skilled with a bow as well as in stealth, speed, and acrobatics, N'jeku was at a major disadvantage in close combat and physical strength.</p><p><br/>Shifting slightly, N'jeku managed to leap back and get out from under Jaree-Ra's blow as she quickly nocked an arrow and released it; the arrow catching him in the left shoulder and causing him to grunt in pain. Panting softly as she stared him down, she took another step back as he charged her again with an angry yell, only to find herself pressed up against a wall. Eyes widening in slight panic at this, she quickly dove to the right to dodge another strike, though this one managed to catch her left side through her Nightingale armor.</p><p><br/>Rolling a few times head over side in a rough topple on the floor, the Khajiit managed to right herself once again despite the pain the injury caused her as she rested a clawed hand upon her now bleeding side.</p><p> </p><p>She didn't wish to fight. She really didn't...</p><p><br/>...But what choice did she have...?</p><p><br/>With tears finally filling her eyes as she stopped fighting them back, N'jeku nocked another arrow with her blood stained hand and quickly released as her attacker had closed the distance once again to do a finishing blow, only to have the arrow pierce straight into his lower chest, causing him to stagger before collapsing onto his knees and dropping his weapons.</p><p><br/>Glancing slowly down at the arrow within his chest, he shakily raised his hand to it and quickly pulled it out before dropping it to the floor. Coughing up blood, the Argonian weakly shifted his slowly blurring vision onto the injured lithe form before him before trying to reach out to her with a bloody hand. "...N'...je...ku..."</p><p><br/>Watching him fall forward to hit the floor the rest of the way, she finally snapped and quickly caught him in her arms as she turned him over and rested his head within her lap. Staring down at him mournfully now that the fight was over, she allowed the tears to fall down her striped cheeks and gently land onto Jaree-Ra's head. "...Why...?...Why did you betray this one...?"</p><p><br/>"...My sister...She had thought it was...a good idea...She figured that using you...and then stabbing you in the back...would bring us a better payout...rather than to split our loot with you...That note you found...had been with her from...before..."</p><p><br/>"...Before...?"</p><p><br/>"...Before I...said those words to you..." Coughing up more blood, Jaree-Ra's vision began to fail him as well as it becoming more and more difficult to breath. Slowly drifting his hazy gold gaze to lock up towards the misty lavender ones that drew him in from the beginning, he weakly lifted a clawed hand and rested it against the tear stained cheek of the Khajiit above him, causing her to quickly raise her own to rest her hand over the one caressing her cheek.</p><p><br/>"...I really had meant it, you know...It's too bad, really...I would have loved...having you as...my mate someday..."</p><p><br/>With a faint smile upon his features one last time, his eyes finally dulled and his strength completely left him as his hand slipped out from under N'jeku's and hit the floor at his side.</p><p><br/>Staring down at the lifeless form that rested within her lap, N'jeku finally released a loud, mournful cry as she hunched over the much larger male and cried into his chest, just above where the wound that had finished him off was.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <strong>~~~~</strong>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>"N'jeku."</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>"Hm?" Glancing behind herself as she stood there at the docks below Solitude, N'jeku smiled at the sight of Jaree-Ra running towards her down the steps. "Ah, Jaree. To what does N'jeku owe the visit?"</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>"I-...Well, about that." Halting right in front of her, he raised a clawed hand and rubbed the back of his head, shifting his feathers slightly in the process. Finding himself blushing faintly, he finally shook his head and forced back any nervousness or hesitation. No! He was not about to chicken out! Gritting his fangs to steel himself, he finally rested his hands firmly onto N'jeku's slender shoulders and leaned down as he pressed his lips against her own in a kiss, catching her by surprise.</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>After a moment, he finally pulled away to hesitantly see the younger female's reaction, only to spy the intense blush upon her muzzle. Taking this as a positive note, he spoke. "I love you, N'jeku. And someday, if you'll have me, I want you to be my mate."</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Staring in shock at the confession, N'jeku didn't even realize she was tearing up till she suddenly felt something wet upon her cheeks. Whimpering softly to herself, she finally nodded her head gently twice before offering him a tearful, yet joyful smile.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>~~~~</strong>
</p><p><br/>Stumbling slightly as she finally made it back out of Broken Oar Grotto while blood soaked through her armor and between her fingers, N'jeku faintly heard the sound of a slightly deep, rough voice before feeling clawed hands coming to grasp firmly, yet gently onto her shoulders.<em> 'This warmth...It is familiar to N'jeku...'</em></p><p><br/>Slowly bringing her vision back into focus, she tilted her head up and locked her bloodshot lavender gaze with the pair of concerned pale green ones; eyes that she hadn't realized till now brought her so much comfort...</p><p><br/>"...'Zara..."</p><p><br/>Eyes slowly drifting shut, N'jeku's knees buckled as she fell forward, causing Veezara to quickly catch her and lift her up into his arms bridle-style. The last thing she remembered before darkness took her was the warmth, safety, and woodsy smell that was ultimately Veezara surrounding her and the panicked and worried tone that his usually purring rumble of a voice now took on despite the fact that it was the smile on Jaree-Ra's lifeless face being the last image she saw in her mind...</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>~~~~</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"...Yes...N'jeku would love that, Jaree..."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>To be continued.</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Healing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>N'jeku awakens several days after completing what she had done within the Grotto...Still recovering, both physically and emotionally, will Veezara be able to help her?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here's the chapter everyone's likely been waitin' eagerly for. That's all I'mma say. lol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing N'jeku processes as she begins to come to is the faint sound of birds chirping in the slight distance.</p>
<p><br/>Then came the familiar smell of the earth and forest.</p>
<p><br/>However, it was the sudden feel of a cold, wet cloth coming to rest upon her forehead that finally brought her fully conscious once again as her lavender eyes fluttered open slowly, though they didn't open very much as she allowed for her blurry vision to adjust and come back into focus. What she saw first as it did so was the wooden roof above her.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <em>'...N'jeku is...inside?...But where...and...how...?'</em>
</p>
<p><br/>The near silent shift in movement at her side grabbed her attention next as she tilted her head slightly to the side, causing the wet cloth to slip off her forehead. It was then that her entire vision focused solely onto the body that sat at her side with their eyes gently closed, their arms crossed over their muscular chest, and their emerald scaled tail curled around to rest against their crossed legs.</p>
<p><br/>"...'Zara...?"</p>
<p><br/>The eyes that suddenly snapped open quickly at her weakened and soft voice seemed alarmed at first, but the instant those light green reptilian eyes landed upon her, they softened just as quickly. "N'jeku...You're awake." His voice was low and raspy, showing his lack of sleep, but the relief that shined in his overall expression was evident. Uncrossing his arms from his chest, he reached out a clawed hand and gently took her smaller one into his own as he tenderly stroked the top of it with his thumb. "When I saw you come out of that Grotto covered in blood and injured, only to collapse in my arms, I was so worried. You honestly nearly scared the very life out of me, and I thought for sure that Sithis had come for you right then."</p>
<p><br/>Frowning softly as he said this, Veezara reached out with his other clawed hand and gently stroked N'jeku's striped cheek with the back of his claws, causing her to instinctively lean into the caress. "...You were...running a fever, N'jeku...And the injury to your side had been pretty deep and...and even infected. N'jeku, you've been unconscious for nearly four days..."</p>
<p><br/>At hearing how long she'd been out for, N'jeku's eyes widened slightly in alarm as she stared at the older Argonian in almost disbelief.</p>
<p><br/>Four days?!</p>
<p><br/>"...Khajiit did not realize that she had been out for so long...Where is N'jeku now though?"</p>
<p><br/>"I brought you to a nearby house that'd been apparently recently abandoned. It looked like bandits had previously used this as a base of operations, but...from the looks of things, they had cleared out in a hurry not too long before we arrived...Maybe a week beforehand at the most..." Raising his head as he casually scanned the room they currently were in, Veezara finally sighed softly once more while the end of his tail gave a slight upward flick off the floorboards. "I managed to find some fur blankets to keep you warm since I had to strip you of your armor in order to patch up your wound properly. I also cleaned it before doing so and made sure the infection was dealt with as well since I had a little bit of medical knowledge...Only just enough though. We're lucky it wasn't anything worse..."</p>
<p><br/>Watching the Argonian from where she laid on the makeshift bed on the floor, she listened closely to his explanation before drifting her gaze onto the hand that still gently held her own. She hadn't really minded that he had stripped her of her armor or that he'd seen her in just her underclothes. Normally, N'jeku would have probably been embarrassed over such a thing 'cause she always thought of herself as slighter than the average female Khajiit, but for some reason, it didn't bother her that it had been Veezara.</p>
<p><br/>That was rather strange...</p>
<p><br/>As she thought this though, her own smaller hand shifted around under Veezara's and finally curled her claws around his in order to return the grasp. This seemed to surprise the male, but she paid it no mind as she focused entirely upon just how much smaller her hand was within his and how warm and smooth it was too despite his being all leathery skin and scales instead of soft, thin fur like hers.</p>
<p><br/>"Um...N'jeku...?"</p>
<p><br/>Snapping out of her daze, the small Khajiit brought her gaze back up to lock with the confused, yet slightly concerned light green ones. "...'Zara?"</p>
<p><br/>"...What happened back there? You're normally very careful with your missions or explorations; rarely ever getting more than a few nicks or bruises here and there..."</p>
<p><br/>At the question she was asked, her eyes widened slightly before softening sadly as she remembered what had happened and quickly turned her head away from the male before her. "This one...killed...someone...Someone that had been...very dear to her. He had...been supposed to eventually be her mate..." She had tried her best to keep her voice steady, but it still cracked and whimpered in a few areas against her will, causing her to clench her eyes tightly shut in an attempt to keep the emotions at bay that threatened to surface once again.</p>
<p><br/>It was only when she suddenly felt a warm hand gently caress her cheek once more and tenderly coast her head to turn towards him once again, that N'jeku hesitantly opened her lavender eyes to lock with his. A look of sympathy and comfort filled his gaze, causing her to finally whimper softly and let a few tears escape. "...N'jeku had tried so hard...Why did he betray this one though?...Why did he not try to stop it? Why can't...this one finally find someone that...won't leave N'jeku...?"</p>
<p><br/>"...You have though..."</p>
<p><br/>"Huh?"</p>
<p><br/>Blinking the tears away from her blurring vision, N'jeku glanced back up at Veezara and saw nothing but tenderness in his light green eyes. "...What do you mean?"</p>
<p><br/>"I mean, you <strong>did</strong> find someone...Maybe not at first like with this last guy...And it's his loss for doing that to you in the first place...But you really did find someone, N'jeku." Veezara's eyes then softened as he gave her a gentle, yet slightly shy smile as he spoke his next words. "...You have <strong>me</strong>...If you want me, that is..."</p>
<p><br/>"...'Z-Zara? You..."</p>
<p><br/>"I know that I'm a Shadowscale, so my line of work is vastly different from your main job as a member of the Thieves Guild. On top of that you're even the Dragonborn; something that's practically legendary. I'm probably not even good enough for you, to be honest, but...I'd still like to try. I want to be with you, as your mate, and also be the father of your son, Hroar...M-Maybe even try to see if it's possible to make a few hatchlings ourselves despite our differing races..." Blushing faintly across the emerald scales of his muzzle at this point, Veezara's tail began to flick up and down a bit nervously the more he spoke his mind and finally admitted his feelings to the younger Khajiit before him. He had never been in this situation before in his life, having never been in love before now, and had only heard stories about it from his fellow Brotherhood friend and 'sister', Mi'wreq, who happened to be N'jeku's elder sister by blood.</p>
<p><br/>Veezara was beginning to get steadily more nervous from the female not saying anything in response, but then he suddenly felt something soft and warm come to rest over his tail in a gentle embrace fashion, causing his tail to freeze up in its movement and his eyes to widen. Quickly glancing down at his tail, he was shocked to find the snow white leopard spotted tail of N'jeku's holding it tenderly; an action that was normally considered rather intimate among the different Beastfolk that had tails to perform such actions. Breaking his gaze away from their tails, he brought it back onto N'jeku and finally caught notice of the faint blush that now colored her own muzzle. "...N'jeku...?"</p>
<p><br/>Biting her bottom lip at this, N'jeku finally carefully pushed herself up from the makeshift bed in order to sit herself up, causing the fur blankets to fall off her lithe frame and reveal much more of her soft, thin snow white fur and black markings along with the bindings around her chest and the bandages wrapped around her side from her recent injury. Panting softly as she took a moment to steady herself, she felt Veezara use his free hand that wasn't holding hers to come to rest gently upon her lower back to help keep her balanced in the upright position.</p>
<p><br/>Once N'jeku was confident that she wouldn't fall over and that the pain had lessened in her side once again, the small Khajiit brought her gaze up towards the concerned Argonian at her side before using the hand that still held his to pull him closer as she then used her free one to wrap her arm around his neck in an embrace; her face burying itself against the side of his neck. "...N'jeku is broken still, but...if 'Zara is patient with this one then,...she wouldn't mind eventually becoming your mate someday..."</p>
<p><br/>Eyes wide in surprise over this, Veezara soon snapped out of it and gently closed his eyes as he nestled his own face against her neck and soft silver hair as he wrapped his arm around her slender waist in a loving returned embrace.</p>
<p><br/>"...I'd wait an eternity if I had to...You're more than worth it, N'jeku..."</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <em>'...Thank you, 'Zara...For finding N'jeku...'</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <strong>End.</strong>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
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